I woke up on July 9th feeling different. It is hard for me to pinpoint or describe what I felt. The only thing that I can say is that I felt more confident in my ability to stand up. Momentarily, I thought about just throwing caution to the wind and standing up then immediately make a made dash across the room without the walker or the wheelchair. I really felt as if I would make it. But as I sat there trying to figure the logistics of the daredevil task, I quickly decided against it. I had to laugh at my temporary bravado. No, I would not attempt it that day, but I knew in my heart that this day is soon coming. Instead of making the mad dash, I decided that I would stand and take a few steps to my wheelchair and use the nightstand and side of the bed for support in case I lost my balance. Typically, I just scoot myself over and transfer my butt onto the chair. As of today this will become a thing of the past. Only walking now…baby step, baby step. As I took those steps toward the wheelchair, I felt stronger and more confident. I also felt very proud of myself. I felt as if I had more of a mental victory than a physical victory.
The past several weeks has been much like riding a roller coaster. I was feeling depressed and didn’t feel up to any social activity. I am so grateful that my aunt Dorothy and her friend Victor come over to visit me. Even on the days when I feel the worst, their visits always make me feel better.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have had some very excellent days. I feel good in my spirit. I have been feeling truly happy – the kind of happy that naturally puts a smile on your face and keeps it there in spite of any chaos that may be swirling around in the atmosphere. And there has been chaos to deal with – ha! My air conditioning unit stopped working and that is disastrous in this 115 degree heat. If that wasn’t enough, the evaporative cooler then failed. Oh, that wasn’t all. There are gopher’s tearing up my back yard and I think they pissed off all the ants because the ants have now invaded my house! I have to admit that I have dropped the “F” bomb more this past week than I have in years.
Aside from all that drama, I have to report that I am experiencing noticeable progress with my therapy. My therapists and I are concentrating more on balance and core strength. I feel my balance getting better and I feel as if I can stand with ease like never before. I still have to think about the steps and movements when I stand but not as much as before. We are also working on dynamic movements at therapy where I am standing and moving my upper body and limbs in different directions. I am excited about my healing and my progress because I feel less dependent on others. Also, my household tasks are becoming less taxing. I am not as exhausted from doing simple tasks like washing dishes or doing laundry. These are the markers that I use to measure progress. This is good news!
I want to encourage you to take note of these types of things and be excited about all of your progress. It does not matter how small the progression may be because it is all cumulative. It will all add up to something greater so be glad (as hard as it is). I encourage you to at least “try” to keep a happy heart. A happy heart heals much!!!!
